KALIL and the Thelema93-l Tango 

by Frater Achad Osher

       Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40

    We must thank Soror Agnes Oleander for stirring up my A.·. A.·. lineage on
 the Internet. In an email she posted on Thelema93 on April 17th 2000 titled
 'Clearing False Data" she responded to a previous issue by stating, "I'm
 dying to see what's going to happen with the Fraternity aspect of the OTO.
 Will the Brethren stick together, in defense of Liberty, and fight as
 Brothers, or will they quietly allow their long-time brother Jerry Cornelius
 to be expelled without a fight?" It seems some people were interested but
 most didn't know who I was. Over a week went by and on Wednesday April 26th,
 Kalil, a member from my A.·. A.·. lineage, posted an update on Thelema93,
 calling it "Jerry Cornelius ... expelled?!" Kalil thought, since people were
 asking about me, give them information. This issue took off and Kalil began
 posting numerous updates. Almost a month went by and things seemingly died
 down.
    Then someone from Europe posted a brief plea, "Can anyone send me
 information about the expulsion of Jerry Cornelius from cOTO?" Kalil
 responded on Monday May 15th with a lengthy tirade about the injustices which
 I was incurring and for the first time the issues of A.·. A.·. lineages was
 publicly aired and Kalil even discussed at length what transpired at the
 Areopagus meeting with the shenanigans of Bill Breeze. I thought it was all
 very fair but it started a controversy which inevitably caused Thelema93 to
 be moved off Hollyfeld. It was indirectly due to Bill Heidrick. He blatantly
 said the apparent untruth about me, my wife and my child. (amongst other
 things) He rehashed an old statement he said years ago which caused me to
 bring him up on charges of slander within the OTO. So I fired back, through
 Kalil, the Truth about the old incident. However, others on Thelema93 took
 what I said and twisted the whole story into dangerous if not slanderous
 levels. Instead of simply owning a child porn film with a fifteen year-old in
 it, which is a fact that even Heidrick admitted on Thelema93, others started
 saying that this proves beyond a shred of a doubt that he's a child molester.
 It seems Heidrick bitched about this, rightfully so, and he supposedly
 threatened litigation if everything wasn't stopped or pulled. Hollyfeld, not
 wishing to be involved in this type of litigation, dropped Thelema93.
 Ironically, Nigris accuses Kalil and others for this problem rather than
 putting the blame on the real true moron who was responsible. The person who
 started it all by saying the apparent untruth about my wife and child and who
 then couldn't take the heat when lies were being said about him. I'm
 speaking, of course, about Mr. Bill Heidrick. But all this is neither here
 nor there. There is no need for me to belittle Heidrick because he can do a
 far better job at it than I.
    Anyway, Nigris on his new site wanted everyone to acknowledge their
 willingness to stand by their statements and claim that they would testify to
 the accuracy of such, if need be, in a court of law. Of course, I had no
 problem with this but Nigris over reacted. The tragedy began to unfold on
 June 14th. I was working on the final editing to Red Flame No.8 when Kalil
 kept forwarding me messages from Nigris, stupid childish OTO spins. He kept
 demanding that I stand behind my word, which I told him I would. I have
 evidence and proof to everything I said and far more. Besides it wasn't me or
 Kalil who took the subject and made it slanderous. It was others. So, what
 was Nigris' problem with me? I'm not even a subscriber! Anyway, I didn't
 disagree with what he requested. It's his site and he could do anything he
 wants with it but I simply had more pressing things to do and I was getting
 bored with his rants. I felt it served me no purpose to be posted on his web
 site since it was moving in the direction of being un-Thelemic. So, having
 had enough I simply forwarded Kalil to tell Nigris that you talked with me
 and I wrote back, "Although everything I wrote is true and can be
 substantiated, tell Nigris to pull anything mentioning my name off his net.
 I've got more pressing issues to deal with than this." I guess we simply
 didn't state it in Nigris' terms. We repeatedly said we can substantiate our
 claims and stand by our words but this was not enough?
    The following morning Kalil sent me a blurb about what Nigris posted on
 Thelema93: "and the controversial post by Kalil about Frater Heidrick was
 removed per the request of Frater Cornelius (in response to my request that
 he provide a simple statement that he would be willing to testify to his
 claims in a court of law)." Although he didn't come right out and say it, he
 let it imply that since he requested a statement from me, I refused to give
 it (?) and voluntarily removed my stuff. What bull-shit. Kalil fired back a
 posting. "You know, I was quite disappointed to see your translation of the
 conversations we had regarding Cornelius' and my posting of Heidrick
 bull-shit. / You wrote to the list recently: and the controversial post by
 Kalil about Frater Heidrick was removed per the request of Frater Cornelius
 (in response to my request that he provide a simple statement that he would
 be willing to testify to his claims in a court of law). / This is quite
 frankly a blind and deliberately misleading. We never stated we wouldn't give
 you what you requested. Your implying we wouldn't stand by our statements is
 playing the list rather poorly. Both Cornelius and I stated several times we
 stand by our posting. It was eventually pulled at YOUR repeated request for
 ... what? We said we stood by our words but you seem to want more. In fact,
 your message to me admitted that we were not accusing Heidrick of causing the
 child molester shit. Which is the reason you gave for the list being edited.
 / This is why I do not believe you in that you claim to be neutral. I am
 posting this to the list. This message is also cc'd for YOU, I hope you do
 not bury it conveniently for a week like my original 'Clarity' posting. It
 only serves to raise my hackles as I read STUPIDITY and brings the risk of
 causing the self-same ad hominy attacks that plagued Hollyfeld. Did no-one
 notice that my posting was dated 6-7 days before any responses? / I notice
 that it is OK for Solemnus, yourself and others to trash people and their
 expressed opinions. I, for instance, always stated my source and yet it is
 still pretended that I have no real knowledge or access to evidence. / Blah,
 blah, blah. / The thing is that it is not due to Cornelius not being willing
 to stand by his words but rather he did not want to PLAY YOUR SILLY GAMES.
 Currently there are pressing issues with getting Red Flame #8 into the
 printers and, frankly, this list is not a high priority." Kalil sent this
 directly to Nigris and posted it publicly at the same time. Afterall, Nigris
 had publicly posted his 'tranlsation' of our conversation, Kalil felt that
 responding in the same fashion was not violating his previous request to keep
 'off-list' as he had not done so himself. However, Nigris has admitted he's
 now censoring and restricting certain topics. What Kalil posted was a taboo
 subject. It dared to criticize Nigris NEW policies in an open forum and point
 out his blatant mishandling of the facts. This type of discussion is no
 longer acceptable and is, at best, for private discussion only.
    Around lunchtime Kalil forwarded me Nigris' response, he was obviusly
 pissed at Kalil's public posting. Kalil wrote "93 This is my "fist warning",
 issued privately and not the elist in general at 10:16:39 a.m." The enclosed
 message from Nigris read, "congratulations, you have been awarded your first
 WARNING (see? very clear about that) for posting about off-topic subjects,
 after I'd asked you both privately and also publicly to stop. if you do so
 again I will ban you from the list (without any additional warnings)." There
 is a lot more which he wrote to Kalil but it portrays such paranoid rantings
 that rather than addressing each stupid, mostly redundant argument, I'll have
 mercy on the reader.
    Within minutes Kalil sent me another email saying, "93 This is me being
 bounced or excluded from the elist at 13:20:41 in the afternoon. Please note
 I had not even had a chance to read my first warning much less respond to it.
 I have also not read the balance of the elist emails in between. Nor did post
 anything since very early this a.m., before the warning."
    Kalil then attached Nigris' second email actually sent from his personae
 as "thelema93-l Moderator" which began "do what you please." This rubbed me
 wrong, being an old Gradyite. This is a statement NO TRUE THELEMITE would
 ever make as a greeting. If Aleister Crowley had ever read this the little
 Second Degree turd would have had his ass thrown out of the OTO. But hey,
 that was the real OTO not the "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO ORDER."
    Nigris continued, "You have been unsubscribed from T93-L Elist, either
 intentionally or without your instigation. if you are on your way out, then
 please enjoy the quietness in your mailbox and come back any time! if this is
 an unexpected message, then you have been 'bounced' from the Thelema93-L
 Email List for what was interpreted as flagrant or repeated posting style
 offenses." He then referred Kalil to a 'Special Posting' of new policies and
 said it was, "for a refresher on acceptable expression within the email
 list." In other words study it and if you agree, "please feel free to renew
 your subscription." Furthermore, he added, "if you have any questions or
 complaints about this email message or the fact that you have been
 unsubscribed, please do not take them to the email list itself (lest you risk
 banishment). instead send them to the Moderators" and he then gives the email
 address. In ending, he wrote, "Thank you for your good humour and continued
 participation in T93-L." Followed by proof that he is no Thelemite when he
 ends his email, "will under tough love, blessed beast!"
    So, the bottom line is, Kalil is banned from Thelema93! Around one- thirty
 on the fifteenth I sent Kalil a quick email jokingly saying, "Kalil 93! I
 guess when all is said and done, your posting on T93 got me expelled from the
 OTO and my telling you this morning to go ahead and post your comments to
 Nigris publicly got you banned from T93! Opps!! We should make it up to each
 other by having mad passionate sex the next time we meet ... of course, don't
 tell Marlene! You know what a Scorpio she is!" Kalil quickly replied, "You
 are SO BAAAAAADDDD!" I then sent Kalil my draft of the 'events unfolding on
 the T93, which I wanted to send out to a few friends. Kalil replied, "93 OK
 but watch out who you send this to or they'll tell Marlene. BTW, never mind,
 I'll tell Marlene and then you really WILL be sorry! 93 93/93 Kalil."
 However, this was immediately followed, within minutes, by another from
 Kalil, saying, "93 I'm not sure but I seem to still be getting the elist
 anyway!? Let's wait a couple hours to know if they are not coming in. 93
 93/93."
    Soon after, Kalil sent me a 'posting' from T93 saying basically, "Reading
 the emails I found this one... Perhaps this was my 'public notification' of
 being bounced. Still, it comes when? I am too busy to see it right now. BTW I
 am no longer receiving any elist messages. 93 93/93" The below message was
 publicly posted by Nigris and claims the time around six-thirty this morning,
 within minutes of the posting he quoted in the beginning, hours before Kalil
 was banned, it states:

------------------------------------------Original Message Follows----

From: nagasiva@luckymojo.com
Reply-To: thelema93-l@egroups.com
To: thelema93-l@egroups.com
Subject: Re: [t93] NOTICE: Stop Meta-Discussion (was "Clarity Please")
Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 06:29:43 -0700 (PDT)
> From: "Kalil 93" 
> Subject: Re: [t93] NOTICE: Stop Meta-Discussion (was "Clarity
>Please")
 > You know, I was quite disappointed to see your translation of the
 > conversations we had regarding Cornelius' and my posting of Heidrick
 > bullshit.
they were accurate and called for given the fact that neither of
you were willing to stand by your claims with a statement that
you would testify as to their accuracy in a court of law.
[I wish to add my two cents and say for the record, Nigris is a liar. J.E.C.]
I meant what I said about not replying to this in the email list.
*BOUNCE*
ALL OTHERS WHO POSTED TO THIS THREAD HAVE BEEN ASKED
TO TERMINATE DISCUSSION OF IT ON-LIST. TAKE IT PRIVATE!
nagasiva@luckymojo.com (T93-L Admin)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

    Kalil did not contest the time of this posting exactly, but was not
 certain that it actually occurred in sequence to those mentioned above.
 Afterall it is hard to believe this posting was 'missed' in the search for
 when and how the bouncing off the elist occurred and, it is true that the
 time listed on the posts is not always indicative of when they actually
 occurred. For instance, the original request for "Clarity" that began the
 entire 'purging' process happened days before it was ever seen on the 'new
 and revised' elist at all.
    First of all, Nigris might be accurate on some accounts but he's a only a
 spin-doctor on others. If he's 'right' and Kalil is 'right' then who is
 wrong? Obviously what he is saying 'openly' is an apparent untruth. This is
 why he continually wants people to keep things PRIVATE. People won't catch on
 to the untruth as quick. It's an old OTO trick. Anyway, his web site has
 become restrictive and unThelemic. His language reeks 'identically' to OTO
 policies of censorship. Not FREEDOM. He claims that he is an unofficial
 revolutionary of the Order. A true Thelemic renegade. Oh, little Second
 Degree boy, your Life is but a fantasy world. Crowley said it best, "Ah! Mr.
 Waite, the world of Magic is a mirror, wherein who seeks muck is muck." Yes,
 I agree completely with Nigris that he must 'protect' his web site but he
 should do it honestly, Mystery is the Enemy of Truth. He should not spin
 yarns of why people are being banned, how he was acting fairly and that his
 shit doesn't stink.

               Love is the law, love under will. - AL I:57


                        Postscript by Kalil 

             Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

    Although it is not provided in the above brief article by Cornelius, I
 felt I should in some manner give evidence of the lengthy email exchanges
 between myself and Nigris that occurred offlist. On numerous occasions he
 stated that to avoid issues in the future I should privately pass my postings
 to him before publishing them as this would enable him to tell me if they
 were OK to publish. Get his permission first to be sure my words were
 'safe'?! This type of pre-restriction is extremely distasteful to me. My
 words are the expression of my Will and this is true Thelema, "Man has the
 right to write as he will." The elist is Nigris' to do with as he pleases but
 I am nobody's pawn. My Word is implicit with every statement I make and I
 will stand by them or correct them myself if I am proven Wrong. In the
 McMurtry lineage we are taught to reflect upon our words before making
 statements and stand by them! Life's experiences may lead us to change, after
 all Change is Stability, but this occurs within Self and not imposed by
 another.
    Nigris also wanted me to provide much private information to him, offlist
 of course. Keep it quiet is the cOTO's way. As if the simple act of bringing
 issues to light is causing their feet-of-clay to harden and shatter. Of
 course, it is causing ripples, but then if you don't like Heat stay away from
 the Stage-lights. The time for hiding the actions of cOTO are past.

                   Love is the law, love under will.

Kalil
 please see www.luckymojo.com/kaliltangoreply [defunct] where you may
 find Nigris' reaction


  Also by Jerry Cornelius:
  An Apology 
  Introduction 
  An Open Epistle Regarding Francis King's Book  The Secret Rituals of the OTO 
  Thoughts on Metzger 
  Myths of the Solar Lodge Revisited 
  The Life & Times of Grady Louis McMurtry 
  Chronology of events leading up to the lawsuit filed by the Ordo Templi
    Orientis on Sept. 12th 1990 against Alameda County & the City of Berkeley.
  An Open Epistle on the Expulsion 
  Liber Al Vel Legis (The Book of the Law)  (Red Flame Nr.8)
    

Visit the Cornelius Homepage